by crollsurf » Fri 29 Nov, 2019 5:16 pm
Hi SA Hiker,
Her actions are premediated and she has a Lawyer on her case. That's why she is not talking to you. She has been advised not to. Her Lawyers job is to take everything they can off you, your house, your children. They'll even come after your super, your future earnings, your holiday leave and maybe even your future inheritance! So get the best Divorse Lawyer you can afford and don't talk to her Lawyers.
They'll start asking for this and that and if you give them what they want, even if it doesn't mean much to you, by the time it comes to final negotiations, all your bargianing chips will already be in their back pocket. You'll have little or nothing to bargain with. Give them nothing, fight for everything. You're going to lose but the important thing is, don't lose any more than you have to.
It's a traumatic experience, good chance you are Catastrophizing about it among other things. Go and see a Psychologist if you can, they know all about it and can explain what is going on. It won't make you happy about whats going on but at least you'll understand and deal with it a lot better.
Friends, good friends will always lend a shoulder but don't go on about it for ever. It's going to take 3-5 years to get over this so use your firends to start with but after that, get on with your life and spend your time with them as an escape from all of this. Don't keep bringing it up unless they ask.
I'm not a divorsee but seen enough friends go through it, heard enough of their stories. They're all fine now, scratch the surface and there is still bitterness but they're all getting on with life and enjoying life after marriage. You'll get over it, just got to make a good fight of it ATM.